You know you’re just a little excited. I’ll give you this Canadian’s take (filed under Kvetching for reasons you’ll soon read) on the plethora of product predictions sweeping the web these past few weeks:

• Apple “iPhone”
  Sounds more likely than not to be announced. But unless you live in the US you won’t care because there will be no service provider in your country. We outsiders had to wait years for the iTunes Music Store to make it to our neck of the woods and will still have no TV shows or movies available.
  So yeah, announced. Canada: no soup for you. As cool as it looks I don’t expect to see it here anytime soon.
  Dave weighs in:
  The technology itself is really impressive. From what I’ve seen of the interface, it looks like it could have far-reaching implications for more devices than a phone. But then, the iPhone isn’t really a phone; it’s a palmtop computer with phone features. The deal killer for me is the required two-year contract with Cingular. I’ve proudly excised telcos from my office, and I have little interest in going back to feeding the beast that is AT&T by signing a contract with their cell carrier.
  There are some other glaring omissions in this product. It doesn’t appear to use sim cards. The memory isn’t expandable. These are two things you can do with a Palm Treo as well as other devices. Unlike other cell phones, the battery is not replaceable. This has been an issue with iPods; it’s sure to be the same or worse with the iPhone.
  This isn’t to say that I think the iPhone sucks. As I said, the tech is really impressive. The UI is amazing. The way it handles voicemail is hellaciously cool. The photo viewer and browser are simply awesome. If they didn’t insist on selling the thing only with a 2-year contract to Cingular, I’d be in line come June.
  If history is any guide to these things, I think we can expect it to be unlockable and see most of the deficiencies (as I perceive them) rectified in v2 or 3 of the iPhone. When that happens, I’ll gladly shell out $500 for one.
  
• iTV
  I’m both excited and apprehensive about this one. I don’t doubt it will be released, but I’m concerned again about content here in Canada and other countries. It seems to me there would be a direct tie-in from the iTunes Music Store to the iTV unit. If I can’t buy that movie or TV show I want and be able to play it on my big screen, I’ll be left with the ability to simply view my photo collections and home made porn movies.
  Also announced but they’ve change the name to AppleTV. Major tie-in to iTunes Music Store as I predicted and since there is no content for Canada this is another unappealing release (at this time) for anyone outside the US. I will say, however, if I can rip DVDs of movies and TV shows to my hard drive and use the AppleTV to view them on my widescreen projector then this is indeed an exciting new product.
  Dave weighs in:
  Meh. This device would have been much cooler if it had the ability to record live TV, a la TiVo or my cable company’s DVR. As it is, it’s simply an extension of the AirPort Express. They didn’t even bother to build in a gigabit ethernet port even though all of the computers in their current lineup sport them. Wireless N is nice (throughput varies from an abysmal 17 Mbps up to 60 Mbps in real-world apps, according to this review), but it’s nowhere near the speed of gig ethernet. I’d be a lot more impressed if they’d just build the Apple TV features into a future version of the Mac mini, and add off-the-air recording capabilities. Windows Media Center PCs have been able to do this for awhile now, and they are the direct competitor to the new Apple device.
• iLife ‘07
  Is there any doubt? I hate to do the insider thing but it so happens I really do know a developer living and working here for a company that codes for iWeb. He hasn’t so much as told me there will be an iLife ‘07 but um, there will be.
  Dave weighs in:
  I’ll be excited when I see it. The only iLife app I use with any frequency is iPhoto, and I never even got around to installing the ‘06 version on the G5 at my office.
• iWork ‘07
  I recently purchased this app for one simple reason. I’m sick of MS Office on the Mac. I’m referring to the lack of a universal binary specifically. I refuse to slog through the Rosetta mess to simply edit a word document or spreadsheet. I’m slowly and softly falling in love with Pages (sorry Dave) and the rumor mill promises the addition of a spreadsheet app. I don’t know about you but for me MS Office = Word and Excel.
  Dave weighs in:
  Pages does appear to be a pretty cool program for non-professionals. I’ll stick to InDesign. I’m sick of MS Office as well, on both platforms; luckily I don’t find myself using them very often.
• iPod
  For some reason a widescreen iPod sounds awkward to me. I know that sounds strange but I can’t wrap my mind around the idea of holding the unit “sideways” to accommodate widescreen viewing. The whole 16:9/4:3 reality is just annoying on so many levels. Let’s not forget that widescreen, for movies anyway, never means getting rid of the black bars. In most cases you still get black bars because movies just aren’t filmed in 16:9 ratio. New HD TV shows like 24 and Prison Break (is there anything else? OK maybe Lost) are the only reason to wish for a widescreen iPod in my pea brain. Even then, who has time to watch video content on their iPods? Have you ever actually seen someone seriously do that?
  Dave weighs in:
  Forget the iPhone. There should’ve been a new iPod with the features of that phone. As a matter of fact, get rid of the phone features on the thing altogether and make that device the new iPod/palmtop browser/email/PDA device. They’d sell many MANY more of them than they will the iPhone, unless they unlock the phone and allow us to use it with any carrier.
  As for rotating to watch video in the proper aspect ratio, I think it’d kick ass. I’ve tried watching movies on my video iPod while traveling by air; while the picture is nice, it can be pretty hard to see if the people around you haven’t pulled their shades. I haven’t seen anyone else watching video on the things but I understand it’s pretty popular if you commute by mass transit. I know I’d be watching video podcasts if I had to spend an hour or two on a bus or train every day.
  
• Some sort of Apple branded TV
  Who cares? Seriously. Oh but it would have built in iTV. Who cares? I’d rather have the iTV unit portable. New displays? Again, fine for anyone who absolutely must pay through the nose for a sleek Apple designed display, but I have to say for just this one thing, “dude, get a Dell”.
  Dave weighs in:
  I’m with Joe. I have no need for an Apple-branded TV unless it had groundbreaking features. I can’t think of any, though.
• Apple hardware
  I’m talking about Macbook Pros and new towers et. al. Blah blah blah, of course they’ll announce something. I just bought two new machines in the past year. I need new hardware like I need a hole in the head…
  Dave weighs in:
  I was very disappointed at the lack of any computer announcements, and I also missed the highly anticipated preview of Leopard (OS X 10.5). If Jobs wants to waste two hours on what are essentially two CONSUMER ELECTRONICS products, he should be performing his dog-and-pony show at the CONSUMER ELECTRONICS SHOW in Vegas along with all the other gadget hucksters.

Anyone seen my cordless drill?

Dave weighs in:
Har.

This is a pretty interesting read.

Flipping around the dial tonight, I happened to catch a showing of the January 17, 1988 AFC Championship Game between the Cleveland Browns and the hated Denver Broncos. The game that ended in The Fumble. This put me in mind of the previous year’s AFC Championship Game, also between these two teams, which ended in The Drive. That game, played on January 11, 1987, is now twenty years behind us. Twenty. Years.

Several things came to mind when I realized this. The first, naturally, was “Holy shit. TWENTY YEARS?” I can remember the pain caused by that drive, and I remember the visceral hate felt by every Browns fan for John Elway. He was the cockiest sonofabitch playing football at the time, so he was easy to hate. Sure, these days the league is packed with cocky self-styled thugs. It seems that’s what the aughties are all about. But that shit wouldn’t have flown in the eighties.

The second - and believe it or not, more depressing - thought was “I can’t believe it’s been that long since we had a decent football team in this town.” The Browns of that era were exciting to watch and one could feel proud to be a Browns fan. Sure, they lost in their playoff bids in ‘87, ‘88, and ‘90 against the Broncos, in ‘89 against the Oilers, and in ‘95 they lost to the Steelers in their last playoff appearance before that scumbag, Modell, took them to Baltimore.

The team we’ve had since the new Browns (the football equivalent of New Coke - a pale imitation that’s been a bad idea from the start) have pretty much sucked. Sure, they made the playoffs once - to get beaten by the Steelers again, naturally - but their record has been pretty much abysmal since ‘99.

Oh, and I’d just like to say to all those people who begged and pleaded and screamed until they were assured our ‘new’ NFL team would still be the Browns…thanks alot. We finally had a chance to come up with a name that didn’t sound stupid, and you screwed it up.

1976 is my favorite year. You know, if we’re doing the, “What’s your favorite year?” game. 1976 was the Bicentennial (U.S.) and the first year I visited Disneyland with my family. I was eight years old. Bruce Jenner was the greatest athlete in the world. But most significant, 1976 was the year of the original Rocky. I was the biggest Rocky fan in the world. It’s true. Bigger than you. I ran up the stairs. I drank a glass of raw eggs (just the one time). I played the Rocky theme off my 45 until the needle was but a nub. I saw Rocky like a millionteen times.

This afternoon we went to a matinee of Rocky Balboa. I was instantly whisked back to 1976. I was a kid again. One thing no one can deny. Sly Stallone was born to play Rocky Balboa. And he’s still got it. Do yourself a favor and go see Rocky Balboa. You won’t be disappointed and you might be just a little inspired. But take it from me, lay off the raw eggs.