May 29 2007

(There’s Little Chance You’ll) Rock Me Tonight

Published by Dave at 1:50 pm under Minutiae

Rock videos in the 80s were a mixed bag. Before Thriller, there was a lot of prancing around generic studios, lip-syncing to the latest Top 40 hits. And plenty of truly terrible dancing. Witness Courtney Cox in Springsteen’s Dancing in the Dark video. For that matter, watch The Boss himself.

And what the hell is Clarence Clemons doing here?

But watching Billy Squier dance to Rock Me Tonight had to have contributed to an entire generation of young men, myself included, saying “hell no, you’re not getting me on the dance floor. I’d look like Billy Squier having a spasm in a pink tank top.”

9 Responses to “(There’s Little Chance You’ll) Rock Me Tonight”

  1. # Mernoon 29 May 2007 at 5:37 pm

    WOW!

    My EYES my EYES!

    I saved myself by not watching the whole thing. YIKES

  2. # Mernoon 29 May 2007 at 5:45 pm

    Guys, GUYS how many times do I have to say. Your wives and girlfriends want you to dance with them because of this:

    Frotteurism /frot·teur·ism/ (fro-toor´izm) a paraphilia in which sexual arousal or orgasm is achieved by actual or fantasized rubbing up against another person, usually in a crowded place with an unsuspecting victim. (weird guy rubbing up against you by “accident”)

    NOT because we LOVE how you dance. Please, help me avoid the weirdo rubbing himself against my behind.

    submitted kindly by your sister.

  3. # Daveon 29 May 2007 at 5:49 pm

    Frotteurism quite obviously leads to freaking (aka grinding), which we all know is dirty and wrong.

  4. # jackieon 29 May 2007 at 7:23 pm

    okay. um moving on…
    Courtney Cox always danced so well as Fat Monica though.

  5. # mazon 30 May 2007 at 3:49 am

    Those videos must be bad. Even the GE Internet police have banned then from viewing. I guess I should be thankful they are there watching over me?

  6. # Daveon 30 May 2007 at 8:24 am

    I’ll bet the GE Internet Police have all of YouTube blocked. Not that blocking those videos individually because of their badness would be a bad idea.

  7. # Mernoon 30 May 2007 at 6:42 pm

    The oddity of the whole bad dancing thing is Billy Squier IS GAY. The dancing makes him LOOK GAY. That, and a bad case of homoerotic rug burn.

    I heard this song in the 80’s potentially 10,000 times, and I never got so excited about the song intro that I did the whole “my upper arms are apparently superglued to my torso so I’ll flail at the elbow” dance. Come on, Billy, you wrote it. Act like you’ve been there.
    And Clarence Clemmons? Looks like Grace Jones got hungry and ate Mr. T.

    Jim

  8. # daveon 30 May 2007 at 6:51 pm

    “Looks like Grace Jones got hungry and ate Mr. T.”

    Now THAT right there is damn funny.

  9. # Mernoon 31 May 2007 at 9:26 am

    OMG Jim, that is so funny.

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