Yes, I’m messing around with Wordpress themes again. Too green ghey?

This is not THE post, it’s A post about our recent trip to Europe. I shot over 1800 photos, all RAW. I’ve never shot RAW before so I have to find my way through processing and converting to a usable file type such as jpeg. Anyway, we spent two weeks in Europe: 3 nights in London, 2 nights in Utrecht (outside Amsterdam), 1 night in Manheim (Rhine Valley, Germany), 2 nights Lucerne Switzerland and 6 nights in Paris. We were blessed with near perfect weather the entire trip so most of the photos turned out nice with perky blue skies and zippity doo dah rays of sunshine.

Highlights include a [near] sunset “flight” on the London Eye. I say near sunset because when we asked what time the sun would set that evening so we could book our flight accordingly, the hotel staffer apparently provided us with the sunrise. I can’t complain though as this is London and there’s the language barrier to contend with and what not.

In Germany we stopped in the Black Forest. I was very taken by the beauty of the region and I intend to visit again. There in a little shop I bought a ridiculously huge limited edition stein which I may or may not ever see as I had it shipped. We also stopped at the Rhine Falls. I’ve never been to Niagra but Diana has and she says the Rhine Falls are much more picturesque albeit not as grand. I’ll provide photographic evidence of this soon.

In Paris we took a ride on ferris wheel which is set up only during the summer months. If you’ve been before, it’s situated roadside beside the Obelisk at Place de la Concorde at the foot of the Tuileries Gardens. I managed some pretty decent shots from our basket but they need a bit of work. I couldn’t keep the basket from swinging and spinning as I shifted about jockeying for the best position to shoot. Not such a highlight was our had-to-do-it visit to Paris Disneyland. I say had to do it because if I didn’t I’d be kicking myself wondering what I’d missed which was pretty much nothing. We did manage to steal a 15th Anniversary limited edition wine bottle which we’d bought while dining at their version of the Blue Bayou. We asked the waiter if the specially engraved bottle was a keepsake and he said absolutely not which we found strange so yeah, we smuggled it out of there.

I must say, I do enjoy museums. In London we visited the British Museum. There you can partake in these little free, short tours of specific areas. The tours are quite informative and bring a lot of meaning to some of the artifacts which can quite frankly all start to look the same after a while. You can only wonder at so many hieroglyphics before they all start to look like something an 8-year old put together. So we did that and another one in a library room which focused on the Age of Enlightenment. I’m all fascinated by that era and shit now. In Paris we visited the d’Orsay where you find paintings and art you’re likely to recognize. I get all into it when I visit the d’Orsay. I really need to brush up on my complete lack of art knowledge and stuff.

I really really hate the damn TSA. And O’Hare.
There, I got that out of the way.

I was at O’Hare on Sunday, catching a United flight back from my visit at Jim’s. We went to see Rush and it was suddenly 1987 again. But that’s another story.

Anyway, I arrived an hour and forty-five minutes early for my flight. No baggage to check, it didn’t seem unreasonable to chop fifteen minutes off the two-hour window “they” tell us we need at the airport. Turns out, for the first time, that “they” were right. Whoever they are, “they” must have written the rules while waiting at checkpoint 2 in the United terminal at ORD.

We (by we, I mean me and all the other cattle who don’t warrant the Special Status that gets a person through the Express Lane) all had the extreme pleasure of standing in a long-ass serpentine line just to get to the scanners. This alone took over an hour, during which I read a good portion of the paperback I was saving for the inevitable wait on the tarmac (this being O’Hare) and flight. The fun really began when we reached the end of the serpentine.

Yolanda stood there at the end serpentine, telling us sheep which scanner to go to. At this particular checkpoint, there are five scanner stations. The fucking geniuses that run that airport had two - yes, only two - of them open. On a Sunday afternoon. At O’Hare. Did I mention I hate O’Hare yet?

Now for some reason Yolanda and her sidekick, Betty Lou, weren’t distributing us to the strip search in anything that approached an even manner. No. To my right was a very short line, serving five travelers at a time. That’s all the TSA bozo on that station would take. The station to our left had 40…yes, FORTY…people waiting. I know, because I counted twice.

When I reached the end of the hellish serpentine, Yolanda waved desultorily at me to come on through. I took a couple of steps to the right, heading to the station with only two people waiting. She let me know in no uncertain terms that I was to head left to the looooong line. I gave her a little grief, which was met with a sneer. Look, Yolanda: I don’t give a shit if you hate your job and white people. Take the stick out of your ass and act professional.

While I stood there fuming along with the rest of the prisoners, I witnessed three women (who weren’t traveling together) point out to Betty Lou that they would be missing their flights because of the way the line was being handled. Betty Lou all but told them to go fuck themselves.

Anyway, I made it to my gate with about five minutes to spare. I’d hoped to grab a quick bite or relax for a few minutes before getting squeezed into the plane, but the TSA had other plans. A top-secret plan to see how many people they can piss off and how many people they can make miss their flights for No Reason Whatsoever.