Mar 23 2008
Snow Blindness
If you’ve noticed it’s been awhile since I took a moment to bitch about my fellow man, wait no further! The day is upon us. Happy Easter.
This past week we had what I can only hope is the final snowfall of the year. While it wasn’t in the class of the big dump of a few weeks ago (mental images welcome), it was more than we needed or cared for; probably 5″ or so here, a little more to the south of us. It was the final opportunity for lazy-asses to drive around with their cars buried in snow, and everyone with that propensity was on the road. It’s to those people I have to say:
What the hell is so difficult about clearing your windows of snow? Are you really so damned goofy as to think that clearing a hole the size of your head right in front of the driver’s seat is all the vision you need to drive a car? Do you drive with blinders on the rest of the year? Do you ever check your mirrors to see the traffic around you?
Look, I can understand being caught in October by a freak early storm before you’ve had a chance to toss the snow brush in your car. I can even see it in November if we’ve had an unusually long Autumn. BUT IT’S FUCKING MARCH. YOU’VE HAD YOUR SNOW BRUSH IN YOUR CAR FOR FIVE MONTHS. I don’t care if you were an idiot this morning, leaving the house in flimsy shoes and a light jacket. WALK YOUR ASS AROUND YOUR CAR AND WIPE THE SNOW OFF WITH YOUR SLEEVE IF YOU HAVE TO.
I don’t need you merging into me because you’re such a loser. Go run yourself into a tree, but STOP ENDANGERING THE REST OF US.
Amen.
AHAHAHAHA! Who gets snow in March?
They’re probably pretending they are 8 year old boys playing “Tank” or something. Cruising around crushing everything in sight, hence nearly sideswiping you.
Hallelujah.
Here is a tip for handling those drivers.
Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
You know where all those idiot snapperheads are headed in their snow covered cars? That’s right — Giant Eagle, baby. Self check out. Tell me I’m wrong.
It’s either there or Wal-Mart.
…wearing their nasty ol’ flip flops.
…or Crocs. God forbid.
Do you have K Mart in Cleveland? If not, where do the white trash women up there get their stretch pants?
Wal-Mart like everyone else.
Crocs are the best thing since sliced bread (if you are under the age of 16 that is)
Ooops that last post is from me.
Sorry for responding so late, but we avoided the foot of snow by spending the week in Las Vegas… :-P
Your argument works as well for people who don’t wash their hands after using the bathroom. You want to endanger yourself? Fine, but don’t subject the rest of us to the same danger, because you’re too lazy!!! I heard this morning that 80% of all household germs come from our shoes, and hands. So if we all remove our shoes, and wash our hands as soon as we get home, we’ll minimize the affect the lazy dirty-bathroom-hands have on us.
Amen!
“Sorry for responding so late, but we avoided the foot of snow by spending the week in Las Vegas”
..|.,
That’s not very nice. When you go trotting off to New Mexico, or Vancouver we don’t talk with our hands. Well, maybe Tom does, but it’s in his blood.
I don’t want to know what Tom does with his hands when I’m not around.