10 If McCain wins: the Canadian job market for freelance multimedia specialists
9 If Obama wins: the number of days before some ignorant, toothless redneck shoots at him
8 Cleveland city food and health bylaws
7 After admitting Joe has not only paid money to see such acts as Paula Abdul and Madonna, but also Yanni, Dave will post manly rock videos of Rush and Clarence Clemons in an attempt to, “rein in the gay”
6 Dave will go back to railing against the douchebags who don’t use their blinker, drive slow in the left lane, and use words like “irregardless” and “relegilent”
5 Propagate Internet memes as a means to secretly express our non-sexual crushes on each other
4 Joe will go back to his regular posting schedule of once every three months when Dave browbeats him into submission
3 Our new contributors will offer their submissions on a schedule nearly as grueling as Joe’s
2 Anything that slags Patricia Arquette and spawns the impassioned response of our readers to exceed our current record comment count of 52
1 The number one thing we’ll blog about after the election: nothing
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
Bring back the meat truck!
Re: #5…..anyone paying attention knew their was a bromance going.
Re #6…People who say, “I could care less” which, of course means, I care, instead of “I couldn’t care less”
Don’t forget the gaggle of women in stirrup pants clogging the U Scan in front of Dave. I mean there oughta be a law.
The “I could care less” thing bothers me as well, but Dave needs to quit with the whole “You go girl!” every time he agrees with something.
Hey, I’m plenty street enough to say “you go girl.” Also, “what’s up, my niggah.”
Oh no you di’int.